Forget who you think you should be
Act as you are
I am sitting on my deck literally questioning what I am doing.
I’m searching for peace of mind that I’ve lost
Reliving the let downs that plagued my freshman year
I just don’t understand.
It’s an emptiness that can’t be solved. No drink, no substance, can fill void
When did this void happened? I didn’t just wake up and notice this disconnect between my expectations versus my reality. It’s as stark at the one seen in 500 Days of Summer.
It had to start somewhere, and on a small scale.
With every failure, the fissure deepened and widened; alone on one side, my desires and hopes on the other side in a self designed paradise that was so far for me to reach.
People have came along and tried to help, but I relapse back into the same state.
My question: how do you change a learned behavior?
My answer: Who the hell knows.